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:iconmattchewbackaar: More from Mattchewbackaar




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December 6, 2012
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I may as well get this gear on. It was inevitable I was going to fight anyway. I walked up the plank to the main deck of the ship and scanned around. For a ship, it was pretty bland. If I could, I would have added some accessories to make the ship more at home, but what a waste of time that would have been. There were crewmen at the ropes, some by some barrels of possible supplies and some mingling as if war never came across their mind. I've never been on a boat before, so it was a new experience. Brutus headed into a brown cabin of some sort, frosted glass made a vague outline of him. Maybe that was the navigation room where the helm to the controls resided.

Raven came up the plank, immediately to my side, "Get your gear on, then." She said, her hate still seeping through her skin.

"Where?" I asked.

"Follow me. Never been on a boat before, have you?" She asked, coming towards a sturdy staircase that went down into an abyss.

"No, it's my first time." I replied, looking out to sea. It was beautiful, the reddish sky was still turning gold and then blue. However, I could only take in so much - time was against me. I took my first step on the staircase, hearing a discouraging creek that rattled my ankle.

"I suggest you stay below deck until we arrive. Don't want you sea-sick before we hit their shore." Raven's demonic giggle only made it more patronising. I wasn't that weak or prone to illness.

"Okay," I said with a reproach sliding back on my tongue.

We came to a narrow hallway. About two people could squeeze in to get past one another or three if you were really thin. There were a series of doors leading into different rooms on the left, the first one being mine as Raven pivoted towards it. The rusty blue latch that held the door to the hinge was swung back, unlocked.

"All yours. Don't be like your sister and take forever."

"I won't," I assured her and went on through the door, closing it with my shoulder. Now I was alone again. In the dark wooden box room, there was a desk that came to my breasts and a stool that came to my knees. Above the desk was something I found more daunting: a mirror. I didn't use it for its proper purpose to review myself. I used it to compare myself. From me to Gantis, from me to Faithful, from me to any other pretty girl who lived in our kingdom.

I came over to the desk and hoisted the sack onto the table, hearing leather folding and metal clanging together. Before slipping off my robes, I redid the latch onto the door for privacy. The scratched metal sent a rime through my nerves as I touched it; the surface hasn't been touched in months.

I stepped back over to the mirror and slipped my robes off, quickly folding them afterwards onto the table. With the undying urge to look into the mirror, I punched the hole of the sack and got held of a string. It was the string to my emblem to be precise. I let it slither out of the sack and into view, its sharp triangular edges catching a glint of any possible light. I had to fight for this emblem, the honour to be in the ranks of the Blood Letter. I stretched the string over my head and loosed, letting the strings land soft on my shoulders.

Then my eyes made contact with the mirror. I glared myself down. What was it? What didn't I have? Was it my bloodied red hair? My piercing red eyes? Maybe it was my body, my physical appearance. Didn't I appeal to anyone?

With a sigh, I closed my eyes. The rejection I felt was too much to bare in a single sitting. I charged my hand into the sack and searched through the rubble of leather and metal. I found the masterfully woven pair of gloves, its texture already flattering my skin. Without opening my eyes, I slotted them both on and resumed my search. The next thing my fingers tips touched was my leathery harness, still without a ruin after many battles. I glided it out of the sack and strapped the belts on tight around my waist, across my breasts and over my shoulders. After all these years, it was still a perfect fit.

Again, with my eyes securely shut, I went for the first thing that my hand touched. My leg guards came to contact. I grasped its fine threaded finish and held it out. I didn't see it, but I could smell yesterday's iron. It was stained into the thigh area when Raven debilitated my hamstrings; her intention was so that I didn't run. She succeeded. I never felt so much pain. I slotted them on and done the straps that bound my skin to the leather.

The last thing that came with this set was my one-sided shoulder guard. My misplaced crown that differentiated who I was to the rest of the army. I took it out carefully and keyed it to my shoulder, letting the weight sink into my body. I fastened the strap and went for my tools.

Vendetta and Clemency.

They weren't like Raven's daggers, but they had the deep runic patterns and sleek chrome finish. Like walking across a mountain range, I flicked my finger across the edges of both of them and pocketed both into the concealment pockets of my leg guards.

I was complete, and with that, I gently opened my eyes.

I could see why I wasn't loved by men. I looked like a monster.
Chapter name in novel: A Ticket with a No-Return Policy

Cassandria is told to suit up ready for action. Along the way, she get gripped into her old obsession of looking into the mirror, where she compared herself to the rest of the world.

Part 1 - [link]
Part 2 - [link]
Part 3 - [link]
Part 4 - [link]
Part 5 - [link]
Part 6 - [link]
Part 7 - [link]
Part 8 - [link]
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:iconcrazy-poet808:
This critique is on behalf of the group :iconwriters-at-heart:
I liked the imagery in this chapter, very thorough and detailed. I like how you are able to determine when there is too much or too little detail, good moderation. The vocabulary is well used and doesn't overpower the reader. Common words yet it takes it up a little. (does that make sense?)
The feelings are still here, though it has shifted from one thing to another. That's good since it was eased in nicely. Good transitioning with scenes, feelings and perspectives.
The impact was good, kept me interested. The layout of the chapter and how you lead the reader through the story is a good pace and makes me want to read more!

Good job!
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:iconkathraw:
KathraW Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Okay, so I read the previous chapter and decided to just move on to this one just because I felt like I needed to read more to get out an honest opinion. Heck, I was just curious on how you were going to approach the next bit.

I'm so relieved that you didn't just skip on to their arrival like I thought you were. This worked out like I hoped; flowing nicely and not starting back up in an abrupt manor. Very good~

The last chapter goes so well with this one. Though, I have to admit, I liked this one a bit more. It gave out a new perspective of Cassandria and the mirror scene was absolutely perfect. Her comparison to others seemed quite 'poetic' if I may. I felt so bad for her and wanted to say, "oh honey, you're not a monster. You're teacher is though". :XD:

In all, well done monsieur. I'll have to check on your next chapter soon. Hopefully, I'll finally catch up! ^-^
Reply
:iconmattchewbackaar:
Mattchewbackaar Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, Kathra! =D as always, a comment I always love to see. I can't wait to see what you think of the fight scene in part 8(revamped). Till then, we will have to wait and see.

Thank you for the comment :huggle:
Reply
:iconkathraw:
KathraW Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
Ah, you tease me with a fight scene. I'll just have to read that here soon then. I'm so curious now ^.^
Reply
:iconmattchewbackaar:
Mattchewbackaar Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's bloody and it has wrist churning sentences in there. Hopefully it will portray the message of how ravenous these Defilers are.

Can't wait for your opinion.
Reply
:iconkathraw:
KathraW Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
Oh, blood and wrist churning huh? I may just have to check that out right now ^-^
Reply
:iconastridelaine:
astridelaine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
I logged on and saw this is in my feed. Yay!

I like how the story is progressing, and with each chapter it all makes more sense and I'm getting a better picture of the world as a whole.

There were two things: You said "above the desk was something I daunted." Did you mean "above the desk was something daunting"? Also, I didn't quite understand what was happening when you mentioned "yesterday's iron." I didn't get how it related to the hamstrings and Raven. Maybe it was just me?

Can't wait for the next installment!
Reply
:iconmattchewbackaar:
Mattchewbackaar Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I might change the sentence to your liking, the "above the desk was something daunting".

For the iron part. Blood smells like iron generally, and if you recalled the first chapter, Cassandria was in her bed after a fight against Raven. Just a historical reference, sorry if I didn't make it as clear as I could.
Reply
:iconeefwee:
Eefwee Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Awesome work, but...
"a desk that came to my beasts" did you mean breasts?
Anyway, nice work! And again, great way of finishing off at the end!
Reply
:iconmattchewbackaar:
Mattchewbackaar Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I did means breasts, oh lordy! Thanks for that.

Thanks for the read however =)
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:iconeefwee:
Eefwee Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Haha! Glad I could help again!
You're most welcome...as always! :)
Can't wait for the next addition...

~Ethan.
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